Visiting "Friends."

Whats up my people..how una dey? I know its been a long minute. My dayshave suddenly become endless..from work to class. Infact e no easy. I havent even had time to do my fav thing at work..visit blogs. Anyways, most of the craziness is gone for now so i can steal a visit here n there. Yes o, the roomate came back from her summer in Texas and na so tory begin.Lets call my roomie Nneka.

As I mentioned earlier Nneka was in Texas on summer workingin the sales field. I no go lie its hardwork but I have seen how it has built her character. She has the positive attitude that no one can bring her down. Its a great thing to see. Anyways, while she was working at this job a friend of hers introduced her to another friend located somewhere in the SouthWest.

SouthWest friend was very nice. Nneka talked to him very often but all they talked about was her daily sales. According to her they didnt get into any personal stuff at all. I remember her calling me n telling me about this angel. He would call everyday so see how her day went and would encourage her continuously and not even try to hit on her or get personal at all. She said the encouragement was much needed and appreciated.Although she had never met him she was glad she could talk to him wih no strings attached. He was a breath of fresh air.

Come first week in August, Nneka's work was done but it didnt go as she planned...she didnt earn as much as she expected after working her ass of all summer! Of course she was frustrated. Mr.SouthWest invited her to come and chill before going back home and Nneka accepted. First when she got there...there was a mix-up so she was stuck at the airport for a couple of hours. Later. Mr.SW came in the company of a female friend to pick her up. Nneka likes food no lie and she was excited to see all kinds of Naija food waiting for her. She says she ate like a starved lion. lol. The host was very nice and so was his female friend. Later on, friends came to hang out...people started drinking and all. Nneka got tired and went to bed while people were hanging out.

Then, she though she was dreaming and in the dream someone was lying behind her on the bed trying to ...u know! Na so Nneka wake up come see oga SouthWest dey try 'do' from behind. Na so she just stand up commot for dia ask him wetin im dey do. she commot go patio go sleep on top chair.
Next morning Oga SW come make nice breakfast..pancakes..fruit..everything..even icecream on the side self. As much as Nneka like food she no gree chop am although she dey wish say anoda person cook am make she demolish. She tall am say she no wan chop say wetin happen last nite...

Nneka: Wetin u dey try do as I dey sleep yesterday
Oga SW: Wetin you expect?
Nneka: I tink say u be better person. all dis time we dey talk as friends..we no talk this kind of talk.I demand an apology.
Oga Sw:ok, am sorry (the sorry no come from im mind)

The rest of the day Nneka no talk to oga..she just siddon outside dey look. Na so oga say made dem go watch movie. I no know who dey go to movie theatre 2 hours in advance but na so oga SW dey roll. As them dey too early na dem go one place so relax..the whole 2 hours nobody say natin! talk bout uncortable situations.
Na when the movie dey start oga SW voice return from pilgrimage. na so e begin dey ask Nneka why she dey act weird say make dem start afresh.
Nneka: Wetin u mean by afresh, make i tell you now say I dey no hold your hand talk less of making out with you or anything.
Oga SW no come like dat answer o...he ask wetin she dey expect as she come visit am.

My people, me self I ask Nneka wetin she dey find reach dat side! She tell me say she think say the man be responsible person o. On the real, I dont think men can be trusted like that anymore. The friend that introduced Nneka to SW is ashamed of course because he's someone she held had respect for. does this mean that men will always be men? I dont want to believe that o. I want to believe that there are men that respect women.

Anyways, Nneka learnt her lesson. No Visiting "Friends."

Endless Questions, Zero Answers

My week has been going really well...I am getting used to this 4am thing. I went out to lunch with my department today and it was a fun 2 hours off work. Haha. So I got on the first bus and took my usual 20 min nap while the somalis talked on and on...I wasnt bothered.I got off that bus and got on my last bus hoping to catch my hour nap. Then I checked my phone and found out my sister had called twice and she sent a text too. I was like 'damn Sade wont let meeven rest for 20 minutes.' And then I read the text....

I know I did not breathe for the next 10 seconds as I sunk into my seat. My head was spinning...it's still spinning as I write. I know I read someone's blog today about asking why when bad things happen..maybe God was preparing my mind for what was coming. NO, it did not work cos my question now is WHY?? Let me tell you what happened, maybe you will understand.

Our family friends Mr & Mrs.S lived in the next Close. Their daughter Bola was my class mate and their son was my sister's classmate. We went to the same nursery school and Secondary school...all four of us. The parents dotted on their kids..no one could mess with them o! It so happened that Mr. S was SS and so were the two kids.

FFWD to 2000...Bola took ill and died shortly...in her mothers arms. We werent best friends but we were good enough friends. The reality of death is brutal. Last September, my dad called to tell me that Mr. S was sick...the SS thing again and a few days later, he died...again in his wife's arms!

On Saturday, my sis in Naija called to tell me that Seun (the only surviving child) was in a car crash.He was returning from a vigil and he was tired so he fell asleep at the wheel and crashed. She said the injuried werent so bad...he was coherent...he was going to be ok. I said a quick prayer for him. Althrough the week I imagined he was improving although I did not ask. And then I got the text message from my sister "Seun dad in his mom's arms this afternoon."


WHY?

See I feel miserable right now..but I know it is nothing compared to what Mrs. S is going through. Every other member of her immediate family died in her arms. What do people sya to console her? That God understands? That God gives and takes? That it will be well? What will be well?

But then I remember this song:

Blessed be Your name when the sun's shining down on me
When the world's "all as it should be"
Blessed be Your name
And blessed be Your name on the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name


You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name

I know its easier to talk because we are not in Mrs.S' shoes...but there is something we can do...if your reading this, please say a prayer for Mrs.S. I cant tell you what to say cos I dont know either.

Since we are alive and well..remember to thank God for the gift of life because thats what life is. I cannot say this...tell people how much you care about them. At least I know that if tomorrow never comes, Em will not wonder how much I care about him..because he knows.

I know this may not have been the most uplifting read..I just had to share and get it off somehow.

Keep smiling my dear bloggers. I am!

SapphireAster

You Had A Bad Day..You're Taking One Down...

Yesterday I had typed up a post about my hella crappy week and I got to work this morning determined to let ya'll know how crazy it has been. I had a zillion things to complain about and I even wanted to add the story about THAT friend that uses me all the time. From waking up at 4am everyday, to the people on the damn bus that wont let me sleep, to the battalion of somalis that get on the bus in the afternoon and suddenly it starts stinking, to the tummy sickness I get on the bus everyday cos the driver doesnt drive as 'smoothly' as I think he should, the boredom in my office cos Steph is gone all week, the long 13 hours I spend outside of my house everyday, the neighbors dog's poop I stepped on last nite, my dad calling at 2am...when I only had 2 precious hours of sleep to go. My list seemed endless

And then...for some odd reason I got to work and stumbled upon a blog with a post about being thankful. I realize that instead of wasting my energy and time thinking about that friend that uses me, I should be thankful for my friend N that I met my freshman year and how much impact that one person has had on me. I will tell you about her in my next blog.

I am sorry for every minute I spent getting upset at Boo because he forgot some lame story i told him last year. I know I should be thankful to have a guy that gave me his car for the first month of my job while he tried to get rides to work himself. I am thankful for a man that cares about me enough to make me dinner, and wake up at 5am to drop me off at the bus station. I am thankful for a man who comes to my house right as he gets home from a long day at 10:30pm just to say goodnight and tuck me in while I rant about my crazy day!

I am thankful for this internship that I have with this "BIG NAME" Company that I do not even deserve. When the hiring manager called me to tell me the internship would be for 6 months so I would be taking the semester off, I told him plainly that I would not consider it and that I was NOT interested. he told me to think about it...
talk to my advisor cos he felt it was worth it. he kept calling me back trying to get me to interview and I finally agreed to interview after 'resting' from finals. In Corporate america, no one begs you to "consider" interviewing. Its a big name company and I know they had tons of applicants. The interview was more like yarning with my friend...I pretty much knew I got the job. I know I am highly favoured and I am thankful for that.

I talked to my roomate an hour ago..the girl is working her a** off in Texas this summer and things are not going as well as she expected but she has an AMAZING SPIRIT. Instead of complaining she says : "Its going to be a greeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaattttt day." I admire her spirit and I am taking on that attitude.

So on Monday when my alarm goes off at 4;00am, instead of cursing, I will say : "Thank you God...cos I know its gonna be a greeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaattttttt day."

Its Been A Minute

Hey my fellow bloggers...how have you been? I know its been a while..I've not been feeling motivated at all. Work has been boring! Mr Em was out of town all last week and my roomate went outta town too. On friday morning the cab driver almost killed both of us cos of a freaking plate of pot pie he was eating at 5am. Hmmm..I was just short of flinging it out of the cab. abeg o. The pot pie looked sick as hell and the man even had the guts to ask me if I owned a microwave. I was like 'who doesnt have one?'

Anyways I've been meaning to finish up the story about my sisters by writing about my second sister....but, I will leave that story for now. I will come back to it later.

I was at home jejely watching TV in my pajamas at about 5:00pm on Saturday or so when my sister, Sade, called me to vent about Broda. As I mentioned earlier, Sade is going home in December to see Broda and make sure the love is still tin-tin after over four years. Broda has been trying to leave naija for the UK for a while and as Sade told me earlier..he would leave for the UK in January 2007 after her visit.

Back to Sade's call! Sade was very upset because Broda called to tell her that he was thinking about leaving in September! Yes o...in a month! Apparently he had just spoken with his sister and her husband who reside in the UK and they had convinced him to relocate ASAP. Broda is very excited and Sade is ..well..NOT EXCITED! Haba the girl bought her ticket for naija since March and has been buying gifts for people since last year.

Sade believes that brother-in-law is just getting Broda all hyped up for nothing. Brother-in-law says that Broda will be able to work and come back to Naija in december to see Sade. Ok....I know its not that easy to relocate to another country and be back in Naija within 4 months. Broda is not balling like that..and I dont think he understands that you dont get a job the moment you walk out of the airport. Whatever happens it will not be funny is Broda is not at Murtala Mohammed Airport when Sade gets off the plane.

However, like the good sister that I am, I told Sade to take it easy and that Broda will soon get off the 'high' he seems to be on right now. At the end of the day she said I was supporting him...I was just being reasonable as always o. Wetin man go do na? We will see how it all works out.


Sapphire Aster

My Sisters and Their Boyfriends...or Should I Say Fiance?

We had always been close family friends and there were four of us and four of them. While my parents had 3 girls and one boy, they had 2 boys and 2 girls. We went to the same church, their youngest two were close to our middle two as they were close in age. We called the older two "Broda and Sister."

Lets skip to March 2002: In an unprecedented and unexpected but sad manner, the younger son dies at age 21. We are all hurt and their family is devasted. My immediate older sister "Sade" goes over to console her close friend "Tinu" who happens to be the youngest in the family and the closest to the deceased. About 2-3 weeks later, the discerning sister that I am, I begin to guess Sade and "Broda" seemed like they were hitting it off. I asked Sade but she said I was imagining things that there was no were she was interested in a guy 9 years older than her. Ok now, I kept my cool...but I opened my eyes wider. Next thing tongues were wagging in our circle of friends and my sister admitted that they had indeed hit it off!

Needless to say, I felt betrayed by my sister. Why did she deny it in the first place? We were supposed to be serious paddies. She ended up telling my mom about it before she admitted to me...we were not even that close to our mom...we are closer to our dad! The biggest shock: My mom supported it! Thinking about it now I am getting upset again! My mom was extremely strict bringing us up and I could not understand why should would support this "thing" between her 18-year old and the 27-year-old broda.

Then it began to make sense to me. Mom was happy that Sade was going to date someone before leaving Nigeria so that her chances of marrying an Oyinbo would be reduced. Sade and I were due to leave Naija for the states come August so I decided I would try to bear those 4 months in good stride. Of course my relationship with my sister suffered a lot, and I was supset with my mom for taking on the role of the chairperson of the relationship. If you know my mom, you would be suprised too. She would talk about him a lot and even mentioned them getting married or doing introduction before Sade's departure. Of course in all of this no one asked for my opinion, they knew I was upset but I guess they didnt think I was old enough to have something good to say. Gosh I hate that!

Why was I so against their relationship you may ask? Let me tell you:
To begin with, love started to catch them barely 2-3 weeks after his younger brother died. The cynic in me does not believe that there was enough time between broda's bereavement and the time that love came down. The fact that they fell for each other at a time that broda was very vulnerable makes me think that all he wanted was a shoulder to cry on which Sade readily provided. By her 19th birthday in June, they had agreed to get married. Then my doubts increased..

How can you date a guy for 3 months and agree to marry him knowing fully well that you have less than 2 months left in the country? What kind of 27-year old would agree to this kind of arrangement? Your relationship is too young for this kind of committment! Am I the only one in this freaking house that is actually thinking about this? Then I began to think he just wanted to use her since he knew she was coming to the US. My family is in the middle-class and I dont mean to sound arrogant but his family has had financial difficulty. O well...with all that drama going on I couldnt wait to leave Naija jare.Of course my relationship with the guy had deteriorated. I said hello cos my mom commanded me to do so. I was soo close to slapping his younger sister who was trying to get info from me about my feelings about their relationship. Of course she was being an hypocrite...

Anyhow we left naija in 2002 and they started communication via e-mail and phone calls. In the meantime my mom helped him secure a job. The job is ok but I dont think he can take care of my sister on his salary. My sister is one that demands pampering. As for me I was born a hustler but my sister was born buttered! She is older than I am but I used to do everything for her...I even won her the visa lottery! Yes o VISA LOTTERY.
So 2 years ago I was applying for the lottery now and my lazy sister took the pain to mail me her passport photo so I could apply for her. Nothing was stopping her from applying herself o. she is in the same America that I am in. Anyways I applied for her and I was the one that got the letter saying that she won the lottery o. I was soooo happy for her cos I never really believed in that thing. Na so she became a permanent resident LIKE THAT. When that one happened my fear doubled. Ah...broda will now start "loving' her more so she will bring him to America. Anyway, its 2006 and they are still going strong o. They havent seen each other since August 2002 but they are still together and for that I have to give them credit.

But then I wonder.....will it work? She is going home in December to see if she is still feeling him in person. God knows I only want the best for my sister. After years of being upset...I realize its not up to me. I have said what I can...I have gotten over my anger but I am still very concerned. Do you think I am being paranoid or do you think my fear is understandable. I cant do much but to look up to God and say "Thy will be done."

SapphireAster

The Oyinbo Wedding

I wasnt going to write about this till the end of the week but I dont want to risk falling asleep at my desk so I changed my mind. Yes o, I went to a wedding this past weekend. One of my boyfriend's classmates from high school was getting married. I know I didnt mention having a boyfriend earlier but I guess you know now. Lets just call him Em. Em is oyinbo o and I have always been one of those that said "me, date an oyinbo? not my cup of tea o." Anyways, lets just say I'm loving it and right now I wouldnt change this for anything. Abeg dont tell my parents they dont know...yet!

Back to the wedding, Anna (22) and Bevin (24) got married on Saturday and it was soo beautiful. Mehn everything was planned perfectly. They had dated since they were in high school. Bevin served in Iraq for 1.5 years and thankfully he came home alive. He flew all the way to Paris to propose to her last year while she was studying abroad. Aint that cute!
They had a Parisian theme to the whole wedding o. We all had Eiffel Tower shaped chocolate and chai was it good! All the tables were named after Anna's favourite places in Paris. It was an outside wedding, all white and light pink and it was gorgeous.

I only knew Em, his brother, and his girlfriend at the wedding but trust me, by the end of the night, I knew 100 more people. Em and I have been dating for about 9 months but we have been best friends for almost 2 years. Our story is for another day. At the wedding, I got to meet a lot of Em's high school classmates and they were all really nice o. Of course the wedding was in a smaller town but everyone was kool...no one acted funny around me. By the way, I was the only black person there so I stood out anyhow. Mehn I thought small town oyinbo people dont know extensions o but this woman busted me out. She was like is that a hair piece? Well I guess she wears them all the time so she can spot one 1000 miles off...she didnt embarass me or anything. she's really funny too!

I had so much fun at the reception. Zach (Em's friend that I had just met) kept picking on me but it was all good....you know how I like attention. When it came time to dance...come and see me getting down to it. Shoo...I had to represent for all the black folks in the world, its a huge responsibility but I am glad to say I was up to the task. Hehe...compliments upon compliments. Too bad there was no coupe decaler to wind to! Your girl was leading the congo line as the band played 'ole ole.' You would've thought it was my sister that was getting married. By the way I was 100% sober as always.

Anyhow, somewhere during all the fun, I lost my phone. Well I didnt loose it, Em did. he had it in his pocket along with 10000 other things. I guess it was my phone that had to get lost cos everything else was intact. If you know me you know how much i love my baby (my phone). come to think of it...Em and I left for a second and went on a long golf cart ride. Maybe the phone fell off then...o well.

Goodnews though! After we left on sunday, Em's mom (the angel that she is) called around and na so people begin dey find my phone o. They found it! I'm expecting it in the mail anytime from now. Phew! I dont have to buy a new phone. I am bad with phones and everything else. I lose everything...2 weeks ago it was my passport, then my social security card. Em says I'm disorganized. I say I just forget where I keep things. Anyways he always ends up finding all my stuff!

Anyways I think I'm awake now so I should get back to work. This whole waking up at 4am is taking its toll on me o. I only started yesterday. I don suffer! Have an awesome day y'all!

SA